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and to meet the artist.Thank you Sea!
1990It's dark and dreary where I stand
The rain outside and inside obscures my view of the sun
I am lost but maybe not forever
I just want someone to take me by the hand and lead me home
The puzzle of my life which I pieced together yesterday
Has unraveled and in chucks falls apart as I write
I see my doppleganger weeping at long gray tables
I can't stand my own mind and the ravages it is committing
Life, people, books all bore me
The ground is grayer as the day progresses
Then in my drug-fogged mind I find minute peace
I remembered when I walked and picked the wildflowers
I remembered what the sun looked like
But now I repeatedly attend the burial of my dearest feelings
For if they surface I will crave them and be even more saddened
Bi-Polar: what is that but a psychic joke?
The roller coaster of my life
So what happened to the up part?
Prosaic, desyrel, respiraldal, depakote,
The drugs of choice, the artists of my mental fogs
I want the mania please get me up from here
Where I am untouchable Where I can do no wrong
Give me back the mania I can't go on any longer like this!
I want to cherish again
The closest I come is our bit of love
Your hand reaching out through the grayness
Breaking the day's loneliness and sorrow
Someone please tell me behind which door lies my salvation
Is it behind the door marked love
Or the one marked job
How about the door marked crafts or helpfulness or religion?
I am being devoured by this tragic non-existent assassin
Hurry Love Reach out again to me through this gray
For I feel myself rushing headlong
Toward my apocalypse toward my permanent doom
I have tried to mend my mind but
Alas I can't say the Lord's prayer - for I've forgotten it
I have dreadful visions and cosmic throbbings
That would frighten even you who knows me so well
I am being washed away by my own hand
Just ahead of me are the mystical cops of madness
Reach out again! Illuminate me!
Direct me back to your pastures of love and joy
For this shifting sandy world of mine
Will soon drown me without your strength.
